Hymns for a New Year: Tis so Sweet

     When I was a little girl, I would occasionally sing special music at church back when singing to a Steve Green or Sandy Patty sound track wa,s popular.  My mom had many sound tracks and a beautiful, professionally trained voice.  I had the voice of a little girl willing to belt it out for the Lord and my song most sung was "Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus".  I was reminded of this beautiful old hymn this weekend, and we even sang it in church this morning!  A hymn I haven't heard in ages! I remember practicing and singing to that sound track and even learning the guitar chords later when I was older and had my first guitar.  It holds new, deeper, sweeter meaning to me now than it did then.

'Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus

,

Just to take Him at His Word
Just to rest upon His promise,
Just to know, "Thus saith the Lord!

        I ask myself, is it enough for me just to rest on who He says I am and on His promise to complete that which pertains to me?  It is so good to know that when all else fails, He never fails.  And when circumstance seems to fly in the face of His Word,  I have a choice: will I trust what His Word says or will I fear based on what I see? Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!

How I've proved Him o'er and o'er
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
Oh, for grace to trust Him more!

     It seems that no matter how much you've trusted Him in the past, no matter what circumstances you've overcome, the next time life mounts an obstacle or difficulty, we tend often toward distrust rather than trust, fear rather than faith.  When we lift our eyes to Him in faith, He proves Himself once again and even that little wavering trust, or lifting of our eyes to Him is grace. Oh for the grace to trust Him unshakably, to take all things as a gift and receive it with joy, trusting that, having come from His hand, He has purposes to do great and transformative things in and through me by this circumstance.

I'm so glad I learned to trust Him,
Precious Jesus, Savior, Friend
And I know that He is with me,
Will be with me to the end.

Oh, how sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to trust His cleansing blood
And in simple faith to plunge me
'Neath the healing, cleansing flood!

Yes, 'tis sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just from sin and self to cease
Just from Jesus simply taking
Life and rest, and joy and peace.

     Oh the beauty when we quit striving and stressing and trying to make things happen or make ourselves clean or perfect, when we rest in what He has already accomplished and trust in His ongoing accomplishment in us, this is peace!  And this kind of trust doesn't come by easy living, uneventful and "blessed".  That doesn't require faith and trust.  The very nature of faith and trust is that it is exercised and necessary when it seems  to contradict everything we see, feel and experience.  It is the trials of fire, of pain and suffering, that produce a sweet trust that magnifies the name of Jesus and makes room for Him to work miracles and prove Himself once more.  He will do it.  He will do it every time and it will likely never look like what you expect but it will be good and produce works of righteousness and peace.  The process often seems messy to us, even scandalous, but I find it interesting, observing numerous Biblical accounts, that GOD is not afraid of what seems scandalous. Sometimes,  I think He delights in doing things so very different from what we would expect, not what we would perceive as neatly packaged, and watching us trying to figure it out, delighting over mysteries and our search for truth.

 The following is the story behind this hymn, reiterating that great words of truth are rarely the product of peaceful times but of the crucible of suffering, revealing the purity and refinement of Truth when all else has been stripped away. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dw2iiQo7apE

   I like the words to the bridge in this version of the song: "So, I won't walk by what I see or what's been spoken over me that doesn't line up with Your Word that's written on my heart, and I won't worry, I will not fear because I know that You are near, whispering peace be still, whispering peace be still over me."   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xv-CTnfQT2k 

     Jesus, trusting You is a grace and sweet peace, unrivaled by any other pleasure.  To find You in the midst of suffering and to find You all sufficient is worth it all, a priceless treasure.  Oh, for the grace to trust You more, for trust to become the unshakable default in all circumstances, that the waters of my soul would hardly ripple when trials should come, or even the sometimes more difficult little daily inconveniences, words taken the wrong way, or responded to poorly or chaos in the home or heart.  Sometimes I find it easier to walk in peace and trust in the big things and get all stirred up with the hundred little daily things. Speak "peace, be still" over these things that gentlness and sweetness of the lips would every be on my tongue. Thank You for giving us an unshakable kingdom. Grant that I should walk in the peace of that kingdom, counting it all joy.

Learning to bestow pleasure

     I had done it again...gotten frustrated with my children over little things, allowed fatigue and headache to dictate my reactions and been generally unpleasant and ungracious.  This just days after some real breakthrough in prayer with God showing me myself and then working into my soul some real transformation of heart and mind.  I felt defeated, discouraged.  When would I break this cycle for good?  When will my natural responses be grace and kindness, unruffled by others opinions, interactions or stresses?              
     In the midst of my self deprecation, God broke through and showed me His example of parenting.  The words I'd read a hundred times before all of a sudden came to life.  Twice the Father spoke to the Son while he walked this broken ground.  Twice he said the same thing: "This is my Beloved Son in whom I am well pleased."  God showed me that these words directly from His mouth to His child were not random or added casually or as an aside.  These words were His greatest gift to parenting and underscored the way in which to meet our children's greatest needs of love and affirmation.  He affirmed his love to His Son and bestowed on Him His pleasure.

     I remember growing up always feeling a longing to obtain my parents' pleasure but often not feeling like I would ever be "good enough", "smart enough", "competent enough".  I wasn't like my older brother in many ways.  I had more of a rebellious streak and there were many times when I dishonored my parents but even in the midst of that, my deepest longing was to gain their approval.
    As an adult I would think and say that I wanted to create an environment in which the home was the safest, freest place to fail and make mistakes and know the grace and forgiveness so that my children didn't feel the need or desire to throw off all control or restraint when they were older or feel the need to hide mistakes, lie, fear or strive to gain my approval.  Yet, as a parent I see myself getting upset over little spills, being mortified that my dear little sinners would argue or fight with one another or become offended when they talk back or don't obey cheerfully or immediately.  How does this happen?  How did my ideals so drastically digress?

     And now I believe the Father is bringing me back into alignment with His parenting style.  I am choosing in the midst of the ups and downs to speak love, acceptance and pleasure over my children.  Not perfectly but steadily growing, dismantling fear one gentle answer at a time.
     The other day my daughter was caught in a lie and fight with her brother.  I was able to talk to her in gentleness, pointing out that God had clearly made her to bring joy and laughter into people's lives and I was well pleased with the bundle of energy and delight that she had been created to be.  We both agreed that her behavior was not what either of us liked and not who she wanted to be.  This experience brought us closer rather than being alienated from one another by me getting exasperated with her crazy antics and my inconvenience.

     I'm so thankful that the Father sees me, not as I am in my sin, but as He created me to be in the original God-image and through the restoration of Jesus' blood and I want that to be the gift I give my children and husband!

God with us

This is my poetic rendition of the first part of Matthew based on the wonder of Emmanuel: God with us.  I meant to post it on Christmas Day, but as you can see, that didn't happen.  So, now, lying on the couch with fevered body and strep throat for perhaps the 6th or 7th time this year, I finally get it on the blog

Emmanuel

You gave up your deity to enter into humanity - Emmanuel
They tried to snuff out your infancy when kings bowed to worship Thee - Emmanuel
Gold, frankincense and myrrh were the prophetic gifts they did offer - Emmanuel
In Egypt you were exiled and from there we were reconciled - Emmanuel
You returned to your own never really having a home - Emmanuel
John the Baptist cried out, "Prepare the way," he did shout...for Emmanuel
He called men to repent and turn to the Man You had sent - Emmanuel
John came baptizing with water to turn men to the Father and Emmanuel
But who would baptize with fire and give the Holy Spirit who is higher? Emmanuel
Jesus came to be baptized and the Spirit did acknowledge and recognize Emmanuel
The Father gave Him a sign, opening up Heaven by design over Emmanuel
Jesus was Your beloved Son, the well-pleasing one was Emmanuel


I've continued on but without the Emmanuel theme in putting Matthew to poetry.  It's been interesting and I'll share more, but for now, may you get lost in the wonder and depth of what it means to have God with us, in us, living through us, making all thing new around us.

In memoriam and the battles we face every day

It's Veteran's Day.  And, after a tear-jerking, moving speech at the memorial service, I was left wondering what noble deed I am doing/might do for my country.  What is my noble, my courageous service?  First, I must humbly thank those brave men and women who have served and given all.  I think of the wives whose best years faded while their husbands spent lonely, cold and cruel nights in foreign parts, children who grew up with a picture of Father but no personal memories, and men who live still haunted by memories that can't be erased and, much like losing a loved one, may come crashing over them unexpected, unprovoked, leaving them once again struggling to live with the present tasks and face-paced culture.

  But, what can I do for this great country compared to these, and then it came softly, unexpected with all the weight and beauty of solid truth.  With a toddling one-year-old finally crashed-out asleep in his stroller, girls dressed in AHG uniforms passing out poppies and a son in Trail Life shirt and hat offering small flags while the anthems of our great service branches played in the background, I saw my sacrifice.  Not only my sacrifice but the sacrifice of many other women there present and who have been and will be coming after me.  Raising up godly men and women with integrity, respect and hearts of service: that is my gift to a nation and my daily sacrifice.

     As a mom, we give day in, day out, every heartbeat and often the wee hours of precious sleep, the hopeful projects and half-forgotten hobbies, our lives our laid down.  Not 6 feet under, not on far away battlefields but right here, right now, until death, on the great battlefield of the home.  I've experienced first hand lately and had my eyes open wide to the truth that my home is a very real battlefield and the minds and hearts of my children are territories worth keeping, preserving and dying for.  They are vulnerable, weak and constantly under attack by the world around them, the enemy and their own self-wills, and it is my job, my duty, my high-calling to stand guard, alert, ready to fight for them and to preserve that great freedom for which we have been set free by the One who has paid in blood, sweat and body.

       So, my friends, great Christian women of America, her future is resting upon you, upon your vigilance, upon your wisdom and gentle instruction, upon your sleepless nights, tear-stained pillow and worn-out knees.  My prayers are with you as I fight, your comrade, your ally, your fellow countryman of that Great Country we have not yet seen. along your side.

It all came rushing back: If ever you lost a loved one

This is my letter to our Pastor Bernie and Gayle Jernigan.  Gayle's mother just triumphed over a long battle with Alzheimers last night - a battle that looked like anything but triumph -  but has ended with her entry into the arms of Jesus.

Today, a young man spoke of recently losing his mother to heart disease.  He articulated the whys, heartache and struggle of walking the path with one dying, the heart breaking in those last few weeks/days/moments.  I relived my dad's last week on earth and all the pain and questions that went along with that and still hang lingering in the air.  The sorrow and emptiness also acutely felt over my dear brother, Jeremiah's death as the years slip away and we'll never know this side of heaven why he was killed - so young - and how the Kingdom of God is advancing through that devastation.

 I think of all the well meant condolences that sometimes hurt more than they helped.  People often try to cheer the grieving with the hope and joy of Heaven while we are yet cut to the quick with the very real pain of loss on Earth.  There certainly is that deep, abiding joy and hope and it is the underpinning of our every next footstep and fortitude but it does not supersede the pain of loss this side of glory -- at least not yet.  The grieving do not wish to be cheered midst the mechanical numbness intertwined by very poignant sorrow when all you can do is sit down and stare at nothing and no one, or hold close an object that was theirs and long and wonder or shake with grieving sobs.


     So, my prayer for you Bernie and Gayle is that you are held close by friends and family and even more keenly aware of the arms of Jesus surrounding you and His tears mingling with those flowing down your cheeks as He walks you through these sorrows.  CS Lewis said: "The joy then is part of the sorrow now," and all those memories that made you laugh will now always carry with them the cloak of sorrow.  You'll still laugh but not without a pang of grief intermingled.  May there be a quieting and gentling  in your sorrow flowing from the God of all comfort.  Don't be afraid of the heartache and tears but embrace the moments when you're overwhelmed by it; let it slow you down as long as it takes, whenever it strikes you.
   May the hand of God uphold you and His grace cover you till your feet find some firmness for another step.
With love, prayers and understanding,
Sarah

The Gift of Offering

It's not what you think.  I'm not talking about giving money or a material gift, but offering of yourself.  There's a difference you know between asking someone for a favor or for help and having someone genuinely, graciously and enthusiastically offer to serve, to give, to help.  All of those being ideal in offering up yourself.  Have you ever been offered help but with the tone of "Please, say no.  I really don't want to help but am offering because I feel guilty or obliged."   or the condescending offer that says "Clearly, you don't have it altogether, but since I do, I'll give you a hand." ?

     I have the fortunate opportunity of being a frequent flyer and with 4 children, I have found myself on multiple occasions with hands full of bags and babies traveling "alone" and looking a little (or a lot, as the case may be) frazzled and overloaded!  I have people look at me with compassion in their eyes or comment on how full my hands are, but it is the rare and refreshing exception when someone says, "May I take that for you?" or "Let me carry that or hold the baby, etc while you get settled." or even, but less appealing, "How can I help you?"  I let out a little sigh of relief as the cup of much needed coffee that is on the verge of spilling or having the lid torn off by the baby is lifted to safety or the heavy bag is lifted to the overhead compartment or, most recently, the baby is held (and has a blow out in the process) while I clean up the mess from my child vomiting all over herself on the plane.

not us! but a good demonstration of what it's like

    Enough of the run-on sentences.  You get my point, right?  There's also a difference between having someone say, "Let me know if I can do something."  or "Call me anytime." or "You could have just asked me." and someone noticing a need and meeting that specific need at a timely hour.  I've caught myself often being the one who says, "Let me know if I can do something!"  Rarely do I get a response or call to help, but if I have eyes to see, there is always a way to get down and dirty and wash the feet.  Most of the time that response is from my failure to take the time to really see - often 'cause I'm too busy with my own stuff to want to see.  Sad, but a true confession.  On the receiving end, I always want to think, "I've got this." and I don't want to burden anyone with my needs or struggles and so, I let the kind and even genuine generic offers slide and muster through my mess.

Treena, myself and Judah

Genuine offering, seeing the need and meeting, is a gift.  It's not just a gift to the one receiving it, but it's a gift from God to the giver.  I hope to pause more often in the middle of saying, "Let me know if I can help." and say, "Give me a job to do, and I'll be over to do it." or having the grace to see or come up with a way to gift myself, my time, to serve those in need.  So, next time you're tempted to throw out the generic, "Call me if I can help," Pray for the grace to see or recognize a potential need and be the answer to a person's need.  There's a promised blessing attached to that. "Whoever does to the least of these, does it unto ME." (paraphrase) and "He shall by no means lose his reward." Matt. 25:40, 10:42.

Heaven in a child's eyes

Nice title, right?  Today was not one of those days.  Today was up too early, nap too soon and too tired and hungry to want to use sign language to ask for food, aka obedience training.  Ever tried much obedience training?  It can be hard.  It is always hard with a tired child!!  Does that mean to forgo obedience training at that time?  I don't think so.  I certainly don't think obedience should only be expected when one is well rested and happy - where would that leave me?  Scott free! Lol.

  Anyway, there we were, Eve and I trying to do Math at the kitchen table and baby desperately (but not too desperately) wanting veggies straws.  He was desperate enough to wail and cry like he was being tortured but not enough to sign more when he finished his first two straws.  I put him through the paces a couple times - using his own hands to sign "more, please" but after the first couple times of that, he pulled away and plopped himself down, wailing even louder.  He adamantly refused to sign and cried to make your heart break or have you pull out your hair- whichever you might be inclined toward.  So, thankfully, after a time in bed to rethink his behavior, he chose to bring his hands together and request "more" at lunchtime with significantly less difficulty than before. :)

     What does this have to do with my title?  Not much except that the self-same little boy has a gift that I pray the mercy and grace to be able to cultivate and witness the fruit thereof.  He's a people person.  He notices them, calling them out with his eyes, with his winsome smile.  Often seeming to pick out of a crowd those who appear sad, lonely or self-absorbed.  Inviting them into joy, inviting them to turn up the corners of their mouths over something simple, beyond themselves. And I wonder what this one will be, my little prophet of joy, of looking beyond self.

Aren't naked babies so adorable!

  I noticed this first and distinctly, this searching out, pursuing the aloof or alone with his eyes, when we were at an airport awaiting our trip to Costa Rica.  He was 4 months old. He couldn't talk or make much noise but he wiggled and stared down and smiled with such focus and determination toward a man who was completely oblivious to the attention he was receiving.  Most of the time, he won over the object of his smile, though there were times I felt disappointed for him and even more for his studied subject because they missed out on the warmth of a smile and of being surprised by joy.

 I want to be that one who doesn't look past those hurting, marginalized or ostracized but looks into them, as Jesus did, and seeks to light a spark of joy and hope into that isolated heart.  I want to be intentional with my love, not so absorbed in my own needs and desires that I completely overlook the lost, the hurting, the lonely right in front of me.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     I also don't want to be that tired child who fails to humbly submit in obedience to the Father, who fails to see the importance or value of His ways and stubbornly fights for what I want.  May I hear and respond with willingness and joy when the Spirit speaks, my heart, my will jumping to obey, delighted that he would even call me to do something above, beyond myself.  He thinks of me to call me to obedience and that alone should be enough to leap with joy and respond rather than drag my feet or grudgingly, unwillingly warring against the Spirit like I often will when it's not my own inclination.  God help me!  God help me raise this little boy who causes me to wonder.