This is MY story

      I was listening to a podcast featuring John Eldridge as he talked about God's story, and the story that He's writing in our lives. He is intentionally writing a beautiful story transcribed in joy and pain and all of the colors in between. And I want to live my life so desperately with a Story that I can look back on that speaks of His love, of His elegance and Grace, of His gentle kindness. I think I so often lose my mind to the experience right in front of me rather than keeping my mindset in this place that is holy, that is elevating, that is hopeful. I'm choosing now an intentional journey. I will journey into love, goodness, kindness, self-control and joy. I will hold up my head and declare the truth of the kingdom into this fallen broken world. I want to learn to take advantage of every quiet and beautiful moment, to relish and create joyful experiences with my family, regardless of all that is left undone around me. I alone get to decide by my moment to moment actions, reactions and words what my story, what the story of this time of my life will say. 

 God writes the grand script but the adjectives and adverbs, the color, the descriptions of what that looks like worked out are mine.  In the midst of crazy schedules, a house remodel, relational challenges...will my kids, husband, friends say: "What grace in the midst of trial.  She was always unruffled, unmoved, at peace, always there for me, still engaged in relationship and what matters, full of gentleness...." Ah, I fear this is not how my story is being described but it's never too late to make a change in the story, to keep the same cold, hard facts but describe them with words of hope, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, extravagant love...  I want to live my story well that the world might see His story and want to live out His story with the beauty He intends for it to have.  

Blessed assurance

Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine;

Oh, what a foretaste of glory divine!

Heir of salvation, purchase of God,

Born of His Spirit, washed in His blood.

  This is my story, this is my song,

Praising my Savior all the day long.

This is my story, this is my song,

  Praising my Savior all the day long.

Perfect submission, perfect delight,

Visions of rapture now burst on my sight;

Angels descending, bring from above

Echoes of mercy, whispers of love.

Perfect submission, all is at rest,

I in my Savior am happy and blest;

Watching and waiting, looking above,

Filled with His goodness, lost in His love.

Worship

Choir

Story behind the hymn

     Do you every get bogged down in life?  So caught up or even drowning in the daily grind or struggle, wondering when life is going to get even a little smoother, easier, more pleasant?  Everything seems to move so slow, be so hard, come with compounding complications, leaving you broken in the midst of questions with no ready answers.  What happens then?  The head hangs down, heart feels heavy burdened, anxiety levels rise and along with it irritability.  How do I know?  I'm living it!  A few weeks ago this all came to a head, and I cried out to the Lord, driving down the road.  I told Him that if he didn't meet me in this place, right now, I couldn't go on.  I had to have an encounter or word from Him to give me strength to move on.  I didn't get an immediate thunderbolt of revelation; He didn't appear in my car next to me and sit down for a chat, no waves of good feelings or manifestations of the Spirit.  For a good hour, nothing happened.  I listened to a book on tape, resigning myself to a slow surrender, and then, He broke through my audio and reflections and began to speak:  "It does not take any effort to let your head hang and to wallow in present circumstances.  However, this will drain the life right out of you, leaving you exhausted, broken and struggling just from one moment to the next to hang on to hope and make it through the day, yet you're not called to hang your head down low or live in and for the here and now.  Remember how David reminded himself often to lift up his head, asking himself  'Why are you downcast oh my soul...hope in God for I shall yet praise Him for the help of His countenance.'" We are called to lift up our heads, be exalted and claim our birthright in heavenly places. Col 3:1-2 "If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God.  Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth."
    We are called  to establish the kingdom of heaven on earth by living out an experience as sons and daughters of the Great and High King of Heaven.  Just saying those words sends a thrill through my spine and a sense of exultation, my head pops up and my countenance is helped.  Yet, my day-to-day experience so often leaves me wallowing in the pieces of all that is undone, yet to do, words and tones that never should've come from my mouth but spilled forth in the midst of my stress and anxiety.  We are not meant to live this way! Yet, how do I get out, break free, how do I turn the corner to walk as a daughter of the King with dignity, grace, joy unspeakable and full of glory, a living hope, a gentle and gracious tongue, integrity and wisdom, befitting this Name, this title by which I have been called.  How do I tap into the knowledge of the Holy that changes everything, that will guide me in every step of my day and overshadow every conversation with holiness and glory? How do I live my life so those who encounter me: my family, coworkers, friends, the person in the grocery store, airport, park, encounter the love and the beauty and the grace of Jesus when they encounter Him in me?  I really think this is meant to be the normal Christian experience.  I want to see God's kingdom crashing down all around me, healing broken people, broken places as the very real power that rose our Lord Jesus Christ from the dead courses through my life in these willing hands, this willing heart, weak vessel.  I see that even this willingness to let go of my pain, my broken, my natural course of hanging my head down and plodding along are a daily sacrifice of praise.  I'm certainly not pretending that I have answers or have it all together.  Most days are filled with the broken and unholy reactions of someone living more like an orphan or slave than a Daughter on whom has been bestowed greatest love, honor and authority.  I think it starts with talking about it more, affirming the truth of these words every morning, every interaction, every time I turn my head. When my anxiety levels rise, setting my eyes on things above, on who He is and who I am in Him, rather than on the mere stuff of earth around me, a fake sort of "reality." I need constant renewal of truth or all the seeming realities around me will beat me down and relegate truth, the Highest Truth to the backseat.





 And so...


Lead on, O King Eternal  (and I will follow)
 

Lead on, O King Eternal,
The day of march has come;
Henceforth in fields of conquest
Thy tents shall be our home.
Through days of preparation
Thy grace has made us strong;
And now, O King Eternal,
We lift our battle song.


Lead on, O King Eternal,
Till sin’s fierce war shall cease,
And holiness shall whisper
The sweet amen of peace.
For not with swords’ loud clashing,
Nor roll of stirring drums;
With deeds of love and mercy
The heav’nly kingdom comes.

Lead on, O King Eternal,
We follow, not with fears,
For gladness breaks like morning
Where’er Thy face appears.
Thy cross is lifted o’er us,
We journey in its light;
The crown awaits the conquest;
Lead on, O God of might.

Story behind the hymn
Song