In the midst of my self deprecation, God broke through and showed me His example of parenting. The words I'd read a hundred times before all of a sudden came to life. Twice the Father spoke to the Son while he walked this broken ground. Twice he said the same thing: "This is my Beloved Son in whom I am well pleased." God showed me that these words directly from His mouth to His child were not random or added casually or as an aside. These words were His greatest gift to parenting and underscored the way in which to meet our children's greatest needs of love and affirmation. He affirmed his love to His Son and bestowed on Him His pleasure.
I remember growing up always feeling a longing to obtain my parents' pleasure but often not feeling like I would ever be "good enough", "smart enough", "competent enough". I wasn't like my older brother in many ways. I had more of a rebellious streak and there were many times when I dishonored my parents but even in the midst of that, my deepest longing was to gain their approval.
As an adult I would think and say that I wanted to create an environment in which the home was the safest, freest place to fail and make mistakes and know the grace and forgiveness so that my children didn't feel the need or desire to throw off all control or restraint when they were older or feel the need to hide mistakes, lie, fear or strive to gain my approval. Yet, as a parent I see myself getting upset over little spills, being mortified that my dear little sinners would argue or fight with one another or become offended when they talk back or don't obey cheerfully or immediately. How does this happen? How did my ideals so drastically digress?
And now I believe the Father is bringing me back into alignment with His parenting style. I am choosing in the midst of the ups and downs to speak love, acceptance and pleasure over my children. Not perfectly but steadily growing, dismantling fear one gentle answer at a time.
The other day my daughter was caught in a lie and fight with her brother. I was able to talk to her in gentleness, pointing out that God had clearly made her to bring joy and laughter into people's lives and I was well pleased with the bundle of energy and delight that she had been created to be. We both agreed that her behavior was not what either of us liked and not who she wanted to be. This experience brought us closer rather than being alienated from one another by me getting exasperated with her crazy antics and my inconvenience.
I'm so thankful that the Father sees me, not as I am in my sin, but as He created me to be in the original God-image and through the restoration of Jesus' blood and I want that to be the gift I give my children and husband!
