He speaks to me...

    He speaks to me.  I needed it.  I heard.  Not only that, I listened.  His rebuke both pointed and gentle, instructive and compassionate.  It had been one of those days, but wait, let me back up.
    Friday night, we had a group over for folk dancing.  One of them, a single mom of two tow-headed little girls, was talking to me about child training, raising.  She was struggling and overwhelmed.  I've been there!  In fact, as we spoke, I too was convicted.  It's so easy as a parent to let things slide, abdicate authority out of fatigue, frustration, weariness of the battle.  We lose our consistency and focus.  As we spoke, I related it to an army training for battle. 

We as parents are the drill sargeants, preparing our children for what lies ahead, the battles they will face in life.  Our goal: to raise up wise, confident warriors who won't be taken out by their enemies, the lies and brokenness around them, or their own brokenness and insecurity.  So, what does a good drill sargeant do?  Works his soldiers, many times hard, always consistent, bent on soldiers who obey instantly their commands, are strong for the fight, trained in scenarios/tactics of the enemy that could cause them harm, aware of their surroundings and the dangers around them - not to fear them but to withstand them in the day of trouble.  If the sargeant allows for insubordination, everyone doing their own thing and figuring out how to be trained for battle on their own, exercising as much as they want or when they want, or who trains some days and moments and is unmotivated to at others, how strong/prepared will his army be in the day of battle?  All the while as I spoke, my own heart was stirred to hit the reset button in my own home.  Take my job as a warrior/teacher seriously, lovingly because I have goals for my children to be prepared that when they are no longer under my roof, they are still under the protection of my training. 

    Armed with new fervor and conviction, I spoke to my children Monday morning about my renewed intentions to work with them and for them, to bring greater order and peace to our home.  You know, the enemy wasn't too keen on that.  It seemed like it was one thing after another with bad attitudes, direct or indirect disobedience and squawbling.  Half way through the morning, I wanted to hang my head and cry.  I was feeling overwhelmed and worn.  I had to be out of the house with dinner made for three families by early afternoon, the kitchen was a mess, and I hadn't completed our school agenda for the day.  I felt a stress headache coming on as we rushed out of the house.  Day one and I felt defeated. 

    Later that afternoon as I was driving my daughter and a couple other girls to a Bible study small group, it came.  He began quietly speaking. "How can you train your children for the day of battle when you are taken out in the first few skirmishes.  This is not who I made you to be.  You have great intentions and resolutions, but you weren't prepared for the fight.  You were surprised when it came.  In order for you to be effective, you can't let the enemy take you out in the first round.  You're speaking over yourself the wrong things. You believe yourself to be weak, almost helpless.  Prepare for the battle, arm yourself for war, fight for your kids and for peace with confidence and joy, and you will certainly win."

   

   So, I changed what I was speaking over myself.  I made an "I am" statement, to arm myself with truth.  I am a strong, confident, joyful warrior, armed and prepared for the day of battle. 

   This life is not for the faint of heart, motherhood is not for the faint of heart.  The battle is real but the victory belongs to those who persist and grow in the confidence of walking in what is right, armed with Truth.