I have come to the conclusion that my blog postings intimidate me. I hesitate and put off writing thinking that my thoughts are not all put together and concise or I have too much to say and so say nothing at all. So, with fears aside, I will jump right in. Lately, I have found God haunting me with ideas, phrases, words that capture my attention and don't let go. I love it. I ponder. I meditate. I wonder what it all means and search for the answer. I love it best because it starts with His impetus, grabbing hold and I am helpless but to follow the wandering, winding path to its end. I don't have to conjure up my own seeking, I'm am led away effortlessly, even swept away on a wild and rushing current. Such was the common made holy which clings to me still and such is this idea of cheating on God.
I gave up sugar for lent. Suddenly, without warning, my faithful "salt tooth" has taken wing leaving me with an unfamiliar and voracious appetite for all things sugar. I want pastries for breakfast, cookies with lunch and cake at dinner! What is this?!?
Romans 7:8,9 "But sin, taking opportunity by the commandment, produced in me all manner of evil desire. For apart from the law sin was dead. I was alive once without the law but when the commandment came, sin revived and I died."
No, sugar's not sin (Thank the Lord for that, right, T?) But, I didn't want it until I couldn't have it. Ever notice that a sure way to really want something and trip yourself up is simply to deny yourself that very thing?
I was reading Romans 7 this past week for a little personal Bible study I am doing and was struck by a question: "To what are we compared when we try to live both under the law (striving) and in grace also?" The first part of chapter 7 is comparing living under the law to a married woman and that as long as her husband is alive, she is bound to him until he dies, but if she marries another while married, she is called an adulteress. So, we, when striving after the law and seeking to receive and live under grace are committing adultery: cheating on God. I searched for sermons and thoughts on this and found none, so I kept asking God what it all meant.
The law in and of itself ( No Sugar!) is good but it revives and exposes sin and all that is wrong with us which causes us to live in defeat and frustration as Paul says in the latter half of 7: What I want to do, I don't do and I keep doing the things I hate to do. Desiring to do the right thing, I just keep doing it all wrong. Do you every feel that way? Sometimes it seems that the more I hate raising my voice at my children, or getting up late or ...., the harder it seems to break those bad habits.
But thank GOD...through Jesus Christ, we've been freed from setting our eyes on the law, freed from thinking about ourselves and what we're doing all wrong. Freed from slavery to sin and being tied to it by the shackles of the law. Free to live in self abandonment. Free to forget self altogether and live in the Spirit where there is no condemnation, no feeling beat up and always on the losing end. We have been delivered to live grace-ful lives. Setting our eyes on Jesus, walking daily, moment by moment in the grace He gives, trusting every moment to His goodness and letting Him indwell and move us, resting in His righteousness and it's all sufficiency. Anything less, any backward glance and condemnation and striving is cheating on God, trying to live a life we were never meant to live. A life that will end up hurting us and those around us.
I want to live out this new kind of life and discover more of what that looks like and know the joy that freedom brings!
