The Gift of Offering

It's not what you think.  I'm not talking about giving money or a material gift, but offering of yourself.  There's a difference you know between asking someone for a favor or for help and having someone genuinely, graciously and enthusiastically offer to serve, to give, to help.  All of those being ideal in offering up yourself.  Have you ever been offered help but with the tone of "Please, say no.  I really don't want to help but am offering because I feel guilty or obliged."   or the condescending offer that says "Clearly, you don't have it altogether, but since I do, I'll give you a hand." ?

     I have the fortunate opportunity of being a frequent flyer and with 4 children, I have found myself on multiple occasions with hands full of bags and babies traveling "alone" and looking a little (or a lot, as the case may be) frazzled and overloaded!  I have people look at me with compassion in their eyes or comment on how full my hands are, but it is the rare and refreshing exception when someone says, "May I take that for you?" or "Let me carry that or hold the baby, etc while you get settled." or even, but less appealing, "How can I help you?"  I let out a little sigh of relief as the cup of much needed coffee that is on the verge of spilling or having the lid torn off by the baby is lifted to safety or the heavy bag is lifted to the overhead compartment or, most recently, the baby is held (and has a blow out in the process) while I clean up the mess from my child vomiting all over herself on the plane.

not us! but a good demonstration of what it's like

    Enough of the run-on sentences.  You get my point, right?  There's also a difference between having someone say, "Let me know if I can do something."  or "Call me anytime." or "You could have just asked me." and someone noticing a need and meeting that specific need at a timely hour.  I've caught myself often being the one who says, "Let me know if I can do something!"  Rarely do I get a response or call to help, but if I have eyes to see, there is always a way to get down and dirty and wash the feet.  Most of the time that response is from my failure to take the time to really see - often 'cause I'm too busy with my own stuff to want to see.  Sad, but a true confession.  On the receiving end, I always want to think, "I've got this." and I don't want to burden anyone with my needs or struggles and so, I let the kind and even genuine generic offers slide and muster through my mess.

Treena, myself and Judah

Genuine offering, seeing the need and meeting, is a gift.  It's not just a gift to the one receiving it, but it's a gift from God to the giver.  I hope to pause more often in the middle of saying, "Let me know if I can help." and say, "Give me a job to do, and I'll be over to do it." or having the grace to see or come up with a way to gift myself, my time, to serve those in need.  So, next time you're tempted to throw out the generic, "Call me if I can help," Pray for the grace to see or recognize a potential need and be the answer to a person's need.  There's a promised blessing attached to that. "Whoever does to the least of these, does it unto ME." (paraphrase) and "He shall by no means lose his reward." Matt. 25:40, 10:42.

Heaven in a child's eyes

Nice title, right?  Today was not one of those days.  Today was up too early, nap too soon and too tired and hungry to want to use sign language to ask for food, aka obedience training.  Ever tried much obedience training?  It can be hard.  It is always hard with a tired child!!  Does that mean to forgo obedience training at that time?  I don't think so.  I certainly don't think obedience should only be expected when one is well rested and happy - where would that leave me?  Scott free! Lol.

  Anyway, there we were, Eve and I trying to do Math at the kitchen table and baby desperately (but not too desperately) wanting veggies straws.  He was desperate enough to wail and cry like he was being tortured but not enough to sign more when he finished his first two straws.  I put him through the paces a couple times - using his own hands to sign "more, please" but after the first couple times of that, he pulled away and plopped himself down, wailing even louder.  He adamantly refused to sign and cried to make your heart break or have you pull out your hair- whichever you might be inclined toward.  So, thankfully, after a time in bed to rethink his behavior, he chose to bring his hands together and request "more" at lunchtime with significantly less difficulty than before. :)

     What does this have to do with my title?  Not much except that the self-same little boy has a gift that I pray the mercy and grace to be able to cultivate and witness the fruit thereof.  He's a people person.  He notices them, calling them out with his eyes, with his winsome smile.  Often seeming to pick out of a crowd those who appear sad, lonely or self-absorbed.  Inviting them into joy, inviting them to turn up the corners of their mouths over something simple, beyond themselves. And I wonder what this one will be, my little prophet of joy, of looking beyond self.

Aren't naked babies so adorable!

  I noticed this first and distinctly, this searching out, pursuing the aloof or alone with his eyes, when we were at an airport awaiting our trip to Costa Rica.  He was 4 months old. He couldn't talk or make much noise but he wiggled and stared down and smiled with such focus and determination toward a man who was completely oblivious to the attention he was receiving.  Most of the time, he won over the object of his smile, though there were times I felt disappointed for him and even more for his studied subject because they missed out on the warmth of a smile and of being surprised by joy.

 I want to be that one who doesn't look past those hurting, marginalized or ostracized but looks into them, as Jesus did, and seeks to light a spark of joy and hope into that isolated heart.  I want to be intentional with my love, not so absorbed in my own needs and desires that I completely overlook the lost, the hurting, the lonely right in front of me.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     I also don't want to be that tired child who fails to humbly submit in obedience to the Father, who fails to see the importance or value of His ways and stubbornly fights for what I want.  May I hear and respond with willingness and joy when the Spirit speaks, my heart, my will jumping to obey, delighted that he would even call me to do something above, beyond myself.  He thinks of me to call me to obedience and that alone should be enough to leap with joy and respond rather than drag my feet or grudgingly, unwillingly warring against the Spirit like I often will when it's not my own inclination.  God help me!  God help me raise this little boy who causes me to wonder.

Growing up

It's with a little anxiety that I post this, feeling the desire/pressure to be consistent, unlike I have been, and write on a weekly basis.  But I'm diving in, so we'll see how it goes!

     There's a certain beauty, nostalgia, joy and sadness that comes with the passing of time, changes in seasons and years and growing up.  I felt this poignantly as I packed up the kids summer clothes and exchanged them with the next size up and their fall/winter wear.  They're growing up fast and its hard and beautiful to watch it happen. The nostalgia of a favorite outfit or the story behind that stain or the holes in the knee.  The shorts that were really too short and need to be removed from the bin of too-small clothes to be saved for the next sibling down the line or the eventuality of another possible additional blessing in the future, should God see fit.

     I enjoy cleaning out, organizing.  The anticipation of this outfit combo at the pumpkin patch and the memories to be had there. Or jumping in leaves and sledding down hills or snug jammies on cozy nights reading a good book, playing games and drinking hot cocoa.  I hope for a slower winter/Christmas season filled with friends, hot drinks, cozy nights and awe and wonder.  We'll make all kinds of cookie creations, serve the poor and learn to give ourselves as a family in a new way to the Christ-child who changed and divided history with His grace-gift and sacrifice.

     I wonder what my spiritual growing-up looks like to Him.  Does He smile with amusement and some relief at memories of my stumblings and rantings  I imagine He celebrates my small victories and is eager to see the growth from future lessons.  May I grow up in Him, in His timing, not remaining stuck unnaturally in a certain stage nor pushing for more than He's ready to give or I'm ready to receive.