Time slips away endlessly, silently and we don't know where it goes. So often we focus on the time that is gone but we have today, right now. This is our time. This moment we can claim and make good and rejoice in the Father's goodness. So, though time has slipped away and now it is the 20th of July, I lay here in the early hours and claim the now to send out to you my God-sightings.
It's hard to know where to start, but I've heard the beginning is a good place. Therefore, since I last wrote about our last day driving...God-sighting #1 A dear friend in WA had spoken over me weeks before we left that God would bring me a good friend and I would meet her the day we arrived. We rolled in around 6:30pm on Friday night and within and hour or so of arriving, Janie Gausmann was at our house with dinner and a care package of toiletries, videos for the kids, an air mattress, baby wipes and other sundry items that we needed. The next day she arrived with her family to help clean the house, and we began discovering how similar we were and how many of the same interests we shared. That day she said: "I don't want to impose on you or make you feel like I'm trying to be your new best friend." Little did she or I know (for I had forgotten at the time what had been spoken) that the Lord on High had orchestrated and designed this to be the case before we even knew of each other. I remembered several days later that she had been spoken into my life weeks before, and I am grateful for a God who knows, who sees, who interacts and moves on behalf of His people.
I realized also, however, that there is something in me that really likes control. Ok, ok...this really is not a news blast to me but I didn't realize how much this played a roll in my relationship with God and that, though I am grateful for His Sovereignty, I like it when He pretends to let me have some say in the matter. This point was brought home to me on the first Sunday. Jon, having been to Culpeper in June and scoped out a house, also had scoped out a church and connected deeply with the pastor. He was ready to jump in with both feet and imbed himself in this community. I, on the other hand, was weary adn wanting to sit back and disappear into oblivion for a while. I wanted to be slow in making any commitments or getting involved in a church or the community and give myself time to recoup from some hard years of over-commitment. I wanted to content myself with no one knowing my name or my talents...as I think about it now, perhaps I was feeling a bit like the steward who was given one talent and in fear he hid it in the ground. Well, God had other plans for me. Not two days into our arrival, I find myself sitting in church and pastor Erick Kalenga announcing how marvelous God is in bringing just the right people together and introducing us to the church. Inside part of me wanted to say: "Wait! I didn't agree to this. I've not decided yet! Where's my say?" But I realized that God had already grafted us in and tied the knot to bind us. (Of course, Janie is a part of this body too.) I could visit a dozen churches and hide away for a while and appreciate various styles and "decide" where I wanted to end up, but in the end, what would that accomplish? There is no perfect church, why make myself discontent by trying all the others and then finally ending up back where He wanted to place me in the first? I am blessed that He cut to the chase and planted us firmly before I knew my feet were on solid ground.
I took away a lot from that first sermon and as he spoke on the Fall and how Adam and Eve clothed themselves in leaves that were alive, but would die having been taking from the branch, I see two thiings. First, something in me would fail to thrive, live if I sought to ungraft myself. Second, our human solution is to take something that is living and make something of it that will dier and decay. What we do does not last, thought we try to keep it alive as long as we can. But God takes what is alive, kills it with intention, to clothe us in that which lasts. We start with the alive and produce death. He initiates death that life might be given again and anew.
He also mentioned that the "sound of God walking in the garden" was the same "sound" that was mentioned on the day of Pentacost. Now that I have my research books, I plan on tracking this "sound" through Scripture and I'll tell you about it.
I find it of interest that this church, His Village, is also the place for the Culpeper Prayer Room or (CPR). The goal is to have 24-7 prayer there and unite the churches in prayer. It is a small band of believers and just as we were invited to play on the worship team at the Salvation Army the first time we attended the church, so it was here and the following week at both places found us playing on the worship team. (So much for my slow entry into society!) The people have lavished love and care on us just as those in Washougal did. They have seen our needs and have entered into meeting those needs. Eve and Emma have found new friends at the church too, including Janie's daughter, Angela who is there new BF.
Other confirmations: we sold much of our furniture in moving out here and have been able to get living room furniture - a nice couch and loveseat as well as a queen mattress $50, desk and air conditioner- free, bedroom set and dressers, vacuums and many other items - $400. I could go on, but essentially, we've been able to quickly refurnish our home and even more for very low cost. I am grateful for Providence and Craigslist.
I have been tempted at times to dwell on what was and focus on my longing for friends and familiarity in WA. Though, its not wrong to miss them, I've been encouraged by God not to be like Lot's wife looking back and losing the blessing of where He's taking me.
Well, this is getting too long already but I'll keep you posted on other God-sightings as we go. Blessings.
Friday, July 20, 2012
Friday, July 6, 2012
Onward ho, to Virginia we go
Our last leg of the trip has finally arrived and 10 hours of driving today should result in the reward of permanence and rest tonight under the shelter of a new home. We've been so blessed by hospitable friends along the way. Phil Bystry sheltered us for a couple nights in LA. Jon's cousins Jim and Connie generously hosted us in OK City and the girls enjoyed the pool, fireworks and toys. Kara Wagner, my dear friend in the same uprooted and replanted predicament provided us lunch in Springfield, MO yesterday and it was a treasured time on the trip to catch up with a friend and be refreshed. Last night found us pulling into Franklin, TN around 11:30 and staying the night with Kay Dokkestul. We had sweet fellowship till 1am and enjoyed pleasant repose - up again at 6:30 for a delightful breakfast of an egg casserole and homemade cinnamon rolls. Yum! On the road again at 8am and praying the day goes speedily and cheerily by.
Jon and I have been reading 1000 Gifts and Mountains of Spices. Both excellent reads. I pray that God would plant these words and truths deep in my heart and produce all manner of beauty and transformation through them. I realize how much in me needs to be transformed by the fruits of the Spirit. Some favorite quotes from the latter book: "(Longsuffering) bears quite happily everything that is done against it, resents not at all being trampled under foot, and reacts to the wrongdoing of others against itself as though no wrong had been done at all, or else as though it had forgotten all about it! For Longsuffering is really the lovely quality of forgiveness and bearing contentedly and joyfully the results of the mistakes and wrongdoing of others...(The reeds of gentleness) had learnt to bow themselves so easily to the least breath of wind, without offering any resistance at all. It was this gentle movement of submissiveness to life's hard and difficult experiences without bitterness or resentful resistance and self-pity, combined with perfect balance and graceful motion...His gracious gentleness and perfect understanding of her weakness and fears, as though He felt with her all that she suffered which wooed her to follow Him...(This gentleness) is terrible in what it is willing to endure itself in order to secure the blessing and happiness and perfection of the Beloved, and, also, apparently terrible in what it will allow the beloved to endure if suffering is the only means by which the the perfection or restoration to health of the beloved can be secured. Behold the beauty and the terror of the Love of God." Ah, there is so much more richness here but can only be fully appreciated by reading it yourself - so go pick it up at the library, borrow it or buy it - it's worth the read.
The Grand Canyon was, well grand indeed. Eve says she is interested in hiking down the canyon with me one day - one day, Lord willing, we'll be able to make that trek together - I've wanted to do that ever since visiting it as a child. Anyone want to join us? :) Climbing on the rocks and being such a steep edge and all, Jon especially was quite nervous, but thankfully we were able to find a pile of rocks at the natural amphitheater that was away from the edge and the girls made a couple of friends to play tag with and so fun was had by all while Judah found some ardent admirers among three Japanese girls. They thrilled at holding them and then all had to pull out their I-phones and take pics with him. He was very acquiescing to their doting and fondling and now he's world famous! But with his charming smile and adorable features, what's not to love. He found admirers wherever we went.
The last couple days have been long, hard driving with few stops and the adventurous spirit wearing thin, but we rally for the last day and the excitement of what is new and unknown. I was reminded by my Father in the shower this morning not to worry about a thing but to trust Him from moment to moment and rest in His peace and gracious control.
One last blessing to share...I got a call yesterday from a lady at the church, His Village, and they are organizing a group of ladies to come over tomorrow and help me clean the house and willing to help with any unpacking, laundry or whatever we need. They are also putting together a care package of necessities to have on our doorstep when we arrive tonight. I'm humbly amazed at the Father's love and thoughtfulness. He knows how to give good gifts and surprise us with his love! May you all be surprised by joy and the love of God today!
Jon and I have been reading 1000 Gifts and Mountains of Spices. Both excellent reads. I pray that God would plant these words and truths deep in my heart and produce all manner of beauty and transformation through them. I realize how much in me needs to be transformed by the fruits of the Spirit. Some favorite quotes from the latter book: "(Longsuffering) bears quite happily everything that is done against it, resents not at all being trampled under foot, and reacts to the wrongdoing of others against itself as though no wrong had been done at all, or else as though it had forgotten all about it! For Longsuffering is really the lovely quality of forgiveness and bearing contentedly and joyfully the results of the mistakes and wrongdoing of others...(The reeds of gentleness) had learnt to bow themselves so easily to the least breath of wind, without offering any resistance at all. It was this gentle movement of submissiveness to life's hard and difficult experiences without bitterness or resentful resistance and self-pity, combined with perfect balance and graceful motion...His gracious gentleness and perfect understanding of her weakness and fears, as though He felt with her all that she suffered which wooed her to follow Him...(This gentleness) is terrible in what it is willing to endure itself in order to secure the blessing and happiness and perfection of the Beloved, and, also, apparently terrible in what it will allow the beloved to endure if suffering is the only means by which the the perfection or restoration to health of the beloved can be secured. Behold the beauty and the terror of the Love of God." Ah, there is so much more richness here but can only be fully appreciated by reading it yourself - so go pick it up at the library, borrow it or buy it - it's worth the read.
The Grand Canyon was, well grand indeed. Eve says she is interested in hiking down the canyon with me one day - one day, Lord willing, we'll be able to make that trek together - I've wanted to do that ever since visiting it as a child. Anyone want to join us? :) Climbing on the rocks and being such a steep edge and all, Jon especially was quite nervous, but thankfully we were able to find a pile of rocks at the natural amphitheater that was away from the edge and the girls made a couple of friends to play tag with and so fun was had by all while Judah found some ardent admirers among three Japanese girls. They thrilled at holding them and then all had to pull out their I-phones and take pics with him. He was very acquiescing to their doting and fondling and now he's world famous! But with his charming smile and adorable features, what's not to love. He found admirers wherever we went.
The last couple days have been long, hard driving with few stops and the adventurous spirit wearing thin, but we rally for the last day and the excitement of what is new and unknown. I was reminded by my Father in the shower this morning not to worry about a thing but to trust Him from moment to moment and rest in His peace and gracious control.
One last blessing to share...I got a call yesterday from a lady at the church, His Village, and they are organizing a group of ladies to come over tomorrow and help me clean the house and willing to help with any unpacking, laundry or whatever we need. They are also putting together a care package of necessities to have on our doorstep when we arrive tonight. I'm humbly amazed at the Father's love and thoughtfulness. He knows how to give good gifts and surprise us with his love! May you all be surprised by joy and the love of God today!
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Day 4 and 5
You're probably beginning to wonder at this point, if there's an end to my blogging today, if you gotten this far. And, there is.
Rising just after dawn, Jon and I ate another grilled breakfast sandwich and warmed ourselves by the fire, then packed up before getting the children in the car and heading in search of showers and the lower Yosemite falls trail. The showers were refreshing and the short trek to the falls enjoyable - especially the Eve-led expedition off trail and scrambling over rocks with myself and both girls up to the base of the falls. I can't count the times when I had to just trust God and look away as Eve says "I got it mommy, I don't need any help." I am also so thankful for my parents gifting us as children with the freedom to explore and do the dangerous and adventurous, while laying aside their own fears but with caution. I also remember Eve saying at one point: "Mommy, I feel like you only care about Emma and not about me cause you're helping her." I reminded her that she was handling the rocks just fine and kept spurning my help when I offered it, but also let her know that I was proud of her and more than willing to help her too when she wanted it. I am grateful to God for the safety and for yet another body part - my legs. I'm thankful for long legs (or long enough - ok I know I'm not tall, Dad) to jump, extend over places that the girls little legs could not, so I could help them up and over the challenging places. I'm glad for the flexibility and strength of my legs and for my girls' eagerness and adventurous spirits- brave and anxious to risk and challenge themselves with such veracity! We also enjoyed a jaunt to Bridalveil falls. I was amazed by how well a little 3&5 yr old did! At one point as we were climbing the rocks, I needed to get car keys to Jon and contemplated tossing them to him. However, on second thought, I remembered that at times my history of throwing keys didn't turn out so nicely and we could easily have lost them forever. All that to say - I didn't throw the keys and we are still driving today! Dad and Tirzah will appreciate this part the most. :)
The rest of the day was a lot of driving and Judah incessantly calling "mommy" and wanting attention, salad at Chili's, frozen yogurt and a trek to LA. We had to forego our trip to the Sequoia's because of time and the drive it would've taken to get there. :( Maybe anther time. It was a cloudless, warm day in So Cal and Eve wished for rain over the heat - like a true Western Washingtonian!
Disneyland was yesterday - we got free parking, arriving around 8am. It was a full day of rides, not too much waiting in line and the enjoyment of watching the wonder of it all through the eyes of my children. The girls really enjoyed Thunder Mountain and Splash Mountain as well as "It's a Small World." But for Eve, the day wasn't complete until she got to meet and talk to Belle. Thankfully, that came in the evening and her trip to Disneyland was satisfied! The parade was great too and the girls were enthralled. I learned that sometimes emotion can overwhelm a person nearly to tears - not so much for the beauty or excellence of something but in seeing someone thoroughly appreciate and enjoy a moment in time. Maybe that's mostly a heart overflowing with love and seeing the unabashed, uninhibited enjoyment of experiences in my girls' faces. Also, for all its faults and the disagreements I have with Disney and it's productions - they do things with excellence and I appreciated that and the superb customer service. We left Disney around 9:30 and the kids crashed hard.
Up again today before 6, woke the kids up at 7 and hit the road. Now, they all sleep peacefully in the back as we drive toward Grand Canyon.
Rising just after dawn, Jon and I ate another grilled breakfast sandwich and warmed ourselves by the fire, then packed up before getting the children in the car and heading in search of showers and the lower Yosemite falls trail. The showers were refreshing and the short trek to the falls enjoyable - especially the Eve-led expedition off trail and scrambling over rocks with myself and both girls up to the base of the falls. I can't count the times when I had to just trust God and look away as Eve says "I got it mommy, I don't need any help." I am also so thankful for my parents gifting us as children with the freedom to explore and do the dangerous and adventurous, while laying aside their own fears but with caution. I also remember Eve saying at one point: "Mommy, I feel like you only care about Emma and not about me cause you're helping her." I reminded her that she was handling the rocks just fine and kept spurning my help when I offered it, but also let her know that I was proud of her and more than willing to help her too when she wanted it. I am grateful to God for the safety and for yet another body part - my legs. I'm thankful for long legs (or long enough - ok I know I'm not tall, Dad) to jump, extend over places that the girls little legs could not, so I could help them up and over the challenging places. I'm glad for the flexibility and strength of my legs and for my girls' eagerness and adventurous spirits- brave and anxious to risk and challenge themselves with such veracity! We also enjoyed a jaunt to Bridalveil falls. I was amazed by how well a little 3&5 yr old did! At one point as we were climbing the rocks, I needed to get car keys to Jon and contemplated tossing them to him. However, on second thought, I remembered that at times my history of throwing keys didn't turn out so nicely and we could easily have lost them forever. All that to say - I didn't throw the keys and we are still driving today! Dad and Tirzah will appreciate this part the most. :)
The rest of the day was a lot of driving and Judah incessantly calling "mommy" and wanting attention, salad at Chili's, frozen yogurt and a trek to LA. We had to forego our trip to the Sequoia's because of time and the drive it would've taken to get there. :( Maybe anther time. It was a cloudless, warm day in So Cal and Eve wished for rain over the heat - like a true Western Washingtonian!
Disneyland was yesterday - we got free parking, arriving around 8am. It was a full day of rides, not too much waiting in line and the enjoyment of watching the wonder of it all through the eyes of my children. The girls really enjoyed Thunder Mountain and Splash Mountain as well as "It's a Small World." But for Eve, the day wasn't complete until she got to meet and talk to Belle. Thankfully, that came in the evening and her trip to Disneyland was satisfied! The parade was great too and the girls were enthralled. I learned that sometimes emotion can overwhelm a person nearly to tears - not so much for the beauty or excellence of something but in seeing someone thoroughly appreciate and enjoy a moment in time. Maybe that's mostly a heart overflowing with love and seeing the unabashed, uninhibited enjoyment of experiences in my girls' faces. Also, for all its faults and the disagreements I have with Disney and it's productions - they do things with excellence and I appreciated that and the superb customer service. We left Disney around 9:30 and the kids crashed hard.
Up again today before 6, woke the kids up at 7 and hit the road. Now, they all sleep peacefully in the back as we drive toward Grand Canyon.
Day 3 in the journey
Up early and on the road after a breakfast of egg/ham/cheese muffins cooked over an open flame of gathered wood - including the dried stump of a tree that I pulled out of the ground. We reached Yosemite close to noon and made our way through winding pavement and a very rugged trail of a road to our campsite by Yosemite Creek. As we searched for a site, I wondered whether mom would choose a site closer to the bathroom or to the creek. Luckily, we didn't have to choose between the two as we found a great spot close to both! As we waded in the creek and climbed surrounding rocky hills, Eve was our fearless leader. She scrambled up and over rocks like a pro and, of course, was singing at the top of her lungs. The two songs I remember consisted of her own version of "Arky, Arky" and a song she made up declaring that the Lord would show us the way and lead us safely home. While Jon and Judah napped in the tent, the girls and I explored more of the river, pretending to be mermaids - I got a sand birthday cake and struggled for the right to choose what we would do next. On a second attempt, we found a way to conquer the mountain across the creek from us. Barefoot and clambering over rocks and rills, we enjoyed ourselves but also had sore, tired feet before we made it back down to the coolness of the river.
We had Mexican for dinner (better than the restaurant) - been and cheese burritos and chicken/cheese taquitos, cooked over the fire, along with some chips and salsa! Unusual camping fare, it seemed, but we enjoyed it before one last hike among the rocks and over-populated mosquitos. We offered some taquitos to our neighboring campers but they were vegetarians.
Two things haunted me all day. 1. My dear brother Jer who so enjoyed the outdoors and the kinds of adventures we were having. I wondered what kind of adventures he was enjoying now. It brought back so many old camping memories from childhood - especially the time Jer, Matt and i climbed around on a mountainside in Zion Nat'l Park while Dad set up camp and Mom made dinner. (It's hard to believe that I'm now in her spot with 3 of my own.) Matt almost stepped on a Rattlesnake as we hiked down the mountain and rather than thanking God and moving speedily on like I was inclined to do, my brothers found a stick and started prodding the innocent bystander. It still amazes me that it slunk away rahter than taking a bite out of any of us. At any rate, I have very fond memories of those trips and hikes with my siblings and parents. After a long night as I lay praying for dawn, I realized too how nice it must have been for my parents to upgrade from a tent to a pop-up camper. 2. I was haunted by The Shack and watchfulness over my children.
We had Mexican for dinner (better than the restaurant) - been and cheese burritos and chicken/cheese taquitos, cooked over the fire, along with some chips and salsa! Unusual camping fare, it seemed, but we enjoyed it before one last hike among the rocks and over-populated mosquitos. We offered some taquitos to our neighboring campers but they were vegetarians.
Two things haunted me all day. 1. My dear brother Jer who so enjoyed the outdoors and the kinds of adventures we were having. I wondered what kind of adventures he was enjoying now. It brought back so many old camping memories from childhood - especially the time Jer, Matt and i climbed around on a mountainside in Zion Nat'l Park while Dad set up camp and Mom made dinner. (It's hard to believe that I'm now in her spot with 3 of my own.) Matt almost stepped on a Rattlesnake as we hiked down the mountain and rather than thanking God and moving speedily on like I was inclined to do, my brothers found a stick and started prodding the innocent bystander. It still amazes me that it slunk away rahter than taking a bite out of any of us. At any rate, I have very fond memories of those trips and hikes with my siblings and parents. After a long night as I lay praying for dawn, I realized too how nice it must have been for my parents to upgrade from a tent to a pop-up camper. 2. I was haunted by The Shack and watchfulness over my children.
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