The days and weeks have all been running together lately, blurred lines of activity, thought and plans. I can't remember when I last blogged, but I can most gratefully say that God is on the move in my life and family in several beautiful ways. But, most compelling now is the shift that was begun in my core during worship yesterday morning.
I was raising my hands in worship and looking upward when the Father spoke so clearly into my heart: "Why are you looking up, reaching up as if grasping for Me 'out there'? I am right here, all around you and in you." There was a sudden, definitive shift at the core of my theological understanding of the Father in relation to myself. It was not a new concept or ideology. We fundamentally believe in the omnipresence of God, Him coming to live in and through us, Him being with us. But, I discovered in an instant that there is a vast difference between believing that and letting my very life breath be dependent on and living out that truth.
A holy stillness, awe, fear - real, true, necessary, FREEING fear of the Father being not just "close as your next breath" but in and through every breath. My skin is crawling with this holy revelation even now. As all the things taught from childhood through now about the nearness of the Father become REAL.
I find that far too often I'm like a hungry infant in my relationship with the Father. Have you ever seen a young child who is very hungry (and maybe tired too)? You go to feed or nurse them and their thrashing around trying to get at what they're craving, wanting, striving for the very thing that you're offering, seeking to provide for them in the midst of their struggle. If they would only settle themselves, they would find that what they wanted was readily available right there and they could drink from the fullness thereof.
It's like all this time, my 30 years of relationship with the Trinity have predominantly been restlessly grasping for more of Him when all the time He has not been a God far off but holding me right there, desiring to give more if Himself right there. Not that I haven't had moments, beautiful, real moments of being held by Him and drinking of the pleasure of His felt presence. But it doesn't have to be felt to be real and there are many times that it's not felt but very much as real, if I could but grab hold of truth.
Since this revelation, I have been seeking, desiring that this truth would not be a passing fancy but become deeply rooted, seated in my being, transformative to EVERYTHING, and I pray it might be the same for you.
Nearer My God to Thee
Nearer, my God, to thee, nearer to thee! E'en though it be a cross that raiseth me,
Still all my song shall be,
Nearer, my God, to thee;
Nearer, my God, to thee, nearer to thee!
Though like the wanderer, the sun gone down,
Darkness be over me, my rest a stone;
Yet in my dreams I'd be
Nearer, my God, to thee;
Nearer, my God, to thee, nearer to thee!
There let the way appear, steps unto heaven;
All that thou sendest me, in mercy given;
Angels to beckon me
Nearer, my God, to thee;
Nearer, my God, to thee, nearer to thee!
Then, with my waking thoughts bright with thy praise,
Out of my stony griefs Bethel I'll raise;
So by my woes to be
Nearer, my God, to thee;
Nearer, my God, to thee, nearer to thee!
Or if, on joyful wing cleaving the sky,
Sun, moon, and stars forgot, upward I fly,
Still all my song shall be,
Nearer, my God, to thee;
Nearer, my God, to thee, nearer to thee!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WyxXGdG3-Io
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gosY-UrpHcA
No comments:
Post a Comment