Ode to my dad

Subtitle: It's not about faith, I found myself surprised.  

The end came quickly for my dad two short months ago.  Has it really been that long already?  Some would say that it was a lack of faith that prevented his healing from the terminal illness that took his body by storm just two years ago.  If only we had believed...had faith, we could have claimed his healing, stood on it, seen it/faithed it into existence.  Surely, dear reader, you must know that we prayed, even cried out for his healing, unceasingly like the widow, humbly like the child asking for bread, earnestly like the centurion.  I think that we all, I for one, fully expected his complete, miraculous healing and recovery.  Not understanding why this came upon him, why he had to suffer but full of faith that "this was not unto death", Yet here we are having stared death in the face and wept.

Jesus wept, you know.  The shortest verse in the Bible.  Is that because in the face of great grief, there's nothing to be said?  Certainly plenty is said but most is unhelpful and some of the best-meant words can cut deep in the face of such loss and sorrow.  I think Jesus like no one else understood that, so...Jesus wept.  He just entered into the grief with them. Simple but most profound comfort.

These thoughts I pondered as I flew out to be with my dad the days before he no longer saw dimly but face to Face: I wonder who will I call when I'm doing yet another building/construction project?  Who will understand what I'm trying to do and give me tips on how to dot it well?  Who will I call when I just don't know what to do and life seems confusing (besides my mom)?  Who will have good graphic design ideas and the best way to present my blog? (We were going to work on this but the time never came) Who will be a father to my fatherless husband and a godly role model for my children?  Who will make up silly rap rhymes to help us memorize Scriptures like Ruth 3:9b "Spread the corner of your garment over me since you are my kinsmen redeemer"?  Who will fix up that old boat you had vision for so that we can enjoy warm days tubing, skiing or just trolling in the inlet? Who will lead impromptu prayer and worship at family gatherings?  Who will take your place?  No one, ever, but GOD will provide other means of wisdom and grace and in a little while, we'll be together again.  I love you, Dad and miss you so much.