Furthest away when you're seeking

  Does it ever seem that when you're really wanting something, pursuing something, it seems the furthest away?  Hope seems to fade sometimes right before the breaking point or turning point?  Have you tried to change the way you respond to people or situations, be more intentional about something and progressively all you notice are your failures in that area? There becomes an increasingly stark, apparent difference between what you want- who you want to be - and what you really are here and now.  Everywhere you turn seems to highlight inadequacy and the gap between what you want to be - ought to be- and what you really are, raw, right here and now in the midst of the mess of life.

  Is the darkness greatest just before the dawn? Is this just a sign that God is revealing the mess and the heart of it so He can clean it up?  Does this mean the breakthrough is right around the corner?  I have more questions than answers right now, but I cling to the hope that this desire, pursuit was placed in my heart not to have me seeking after the impossible or leave me in a fruitless search but to first stir up desire in order to cultivate the ground for the seeds of peace to be planted and thrive.  Maybe that's where I'm at right now...the ground is being churned up, prepared and it feels anything but peaceful...
   Peace has been like that for me this week.  Illusive.  More appealing than ever, yet seeming so far away.  The list of things to do seems like a mountain compared to the time to do it and right in the center of it all are my children.  These little ones that I wrap up tight in my arms or snuggle close to on the couch - taking a few minutes to love on, to hold what is most precious and tell them so.  Yet, it doesn't seem like enough.  In the midst of this, I came across this verse: Isaiah 54:14 "All your children shall be taught by the Lord, and great shall be the peace of your children."  Ahhh.  Yes.... This has become my earnest prayer, my hope.  Whether my schedule has me home or away, what I really want, what I need is for the Lord to be their teacher and mine.  
   

Wonderful Peace
1 Far away in the depths of my spirit tonight
Rolls a melody sweeter than psalm;
In celestial-like strains it unceasingly falls
O’er my soul like an infinite calm.

Refrain:
Peace! peace! wonderful peace,
Coming down from the Father above;
Sweep over my spirit forever, I pray,
In fathomless billows of love.

2 What a treasure I have in this wonderful peace,
Buried deep in the heart of my soul;
So secure that no power can mine it away,
While the years of eternity roll. [Refrain]



3 I am resting tonight in this wonderful peace,
Resting sweetly in Jesus’ control;
For I’m kept from all danger by night and by day,
And His glory is flooding my soul. [Refrain]

4 And I know when I rise to that city of peace,
Where the Author of peace I shall see,
That one strain of the anthems the ransomed will sing,
In that heavenly kingdom shall be: [Refrain]

5 O soul, are you here without comfort or rest,
Walking down the rough pathway of time?
Make Jesus your friend ere the shadows grow dark;
O accept this sweet peace so sublime. [Refrain]

Story behind
Acapella version