Wow! It's been a month of upheaval and I've written this and other blogs a hundred times in my head but haven't had the time or internet or any number of other excuses which have kept me from returning to this place. This morning, as I open my blog, I see my post title - Peace. I laugh as my month has been characterized by anything but peace! I've cried in deep, broken distress. questioned God's purposes, presence and plan, went to war against the schemes of the devil, searched the Word for comfort and placed myself and situation into the Omniscient and loving hands of the Father over and over. How ironic that I find myself revisiting and finishing my blog on peace, dwelling in the confidence and presence of One seated on an unmovable throne Whose dominion and power know no limits, Whose love is unfailing, Whose purposes cannot be thwarted.
One of the most loved hymns and most familiar hymn stories is that of "It Is Well". Sometimes, I think it's easy to get an idea that we're supposed to be unphased, untouched by earthly sorrows, struggles and setbacks. We then end up feeling like failures in the midst of struggle because we feel the ripples from the rocks and storms and detours caused by debris or "junk" that's thrown in by life's storms or other people. Yet, even the most happy, calm, rippling brook can become a roaring torrent of upheaval in the midst of violent storms. This doesn't make it wrong. The river hasn't forsaken it's created purpose. It's counterproductive to pressure yourself with guilt over real/raw feelings of desperation, desire or need for deliverance or to conjure up certain feelings of peace or well-being, pretending that life's storms don't phase you. The important thing is to acknowledge the truth of the brokenness we encounter and continue receiving from the Source, continuing to flow in the currents He permits. The surface may be turbulent, broken against the shore, tossed about every which way, but the depths are still grounded in the Everlasting, in the path enscribed by the Sovereign, undeterred from going where one is sent and abiding in the channels and currents He ordains.
I rarely pretend anymore that I'm ok when I'm not. Not that one should spew forth turbulence on those around you in the name of "being real", but I have been deeply comforted by the prayers and support of those who respond in gentle grace and compassion when I acknowledge that I'm falling apart on the inside or desperate to see the Kingdom revealed in the midst of my mess and upheaval. The house project goes slow, many setbacks, and it's hard to live long in an unsettled mess while trying to give some semblance of normalcy to the household with home cooked meals, a regular school schedule, etc. But oh how precious those moments of communion with the Unfailing One when He touches my turbulent heart and speaks "Peace, be still!"
It Is Well
When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well with my soul.
Refrain:
It is well with my soul,
It is well, it is well with my soul.
Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ hath regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.
My sin—oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!—
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.
But, Lord, ’tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul!
And Lord, haste the day when the faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.
Story Behind the Hymn
Acapella
A beautiful rendition