Advent the Hope and Longing for more of Him

   Time slips like sand through a very large funnel.  I thought today: "I should blog a Christmas hymn to each Sunday Advent leading up to Christmas."  The second thought came: "I already missed the first one..."  Ah, but I won't let that stop me from starting a good thing. Every year I aspire to be more intentional, more prepared, more interactive and thoughtful and every year December seems to sneak up on me and the first week or two slips by before I can recover from the joys, smells and preparations for Thanksgiving and wake up to realize that my aspirations for advent, for intentionality EVERY DAY, quiet personal moments, not as quiet family devotional moments, service projects, etc, etc have fallen through the cracks.  I've failed again. and I contemplate how many times throughout the year my best intentions get sifted out in the midst of the chunkier obligations of work, homeschooling, house renovations, non-profit commitments...  However, before I mentally write these intentions off for the year and hope for next year, I pause.  It's not too late to start now.  Two weeks of intentionality is better than last year- maybe I can build on it.  Maybe I can start now with pausing each day to give a little more of myself, see and meet the brokenness and needs around me, whisper words of awe to my children and come adore the Christ child - far surpassing in all worthiness . 
  I decide now not to wave the banner of defeat, not to surrender before the battles fully fought but start now, fighting for good, for hope for daily sacrifice as a gift to the greatest Giver.  I want to stir up an anticipation for the Wonder and Glory of the Coming One who came, and still comes and enters into our brokenness, our busy-ness, our failed attempts and our triumphs over sin, self and stagnation. I want to infuse and exemplify a passionate eagerness to know His coming, to experience the AMAZEMENT of what it really means for GOD to come DOWN, to humble Himself to know and be known - that it wouldn't just be the wonder of gifts, lights, decorations and festivities but of HIM.  One of my favorite Christmas hymns is:





















[Verse 1]
O come, O come, Emmanuel
And ransom captive Israel
That mourns in lonely exile here
Until the Son of God appear

[Refrain]
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to thee, O Israel

[Verse 2]
O come, O come, Thou Lord of might
Who to Thy tribes, on Sinai's height
In ancient times didst give the law
In cloud, and majesty and awe

[Verse 3]
O come, Thou Rod of Jesse, free
Thine own from Satan's tyranny
From depths of hell Thy people save
And give them victory o'er the grave

[Verse 4]
O come, Thou Dayspring, come and cheer
Our spirits by Thine advent here
Disperse the gloomy clouds of night
And death's dark shadows put to flight

[Verse 5]
O come, Thou Key of David, come
And open wide our heavenly home
Make safe the way that leads on high
And close the path to misery





[Verse 6]
O come, Thou Wisdom from on high
And order all things, far and nigh
To us the path of knowledge show
And cause us in her ways to go

[Verse 7]
O come, desire of nations, bind
In one the hearts of all mankind
Bid Thou our sad divisions cease
And be Thyself our King of peace



May you be filled with greater longing, hope and desire and may the Desire of Nations come and meet you in that place - come to you and fill you!

Pentatonix

story behind the hymn

Piano Guys

Lindsey Sterling

This is MY story

      I was listening to a podcast featuring John Eldridge as he talked about God's story, and the story that He's writing in our lives. He is intentionally writing a beautiful story transcribed in joy and pain and all of the colors in between. And I want to live my life so desperately with a Story that I can look back on that speaks of His love, of His elegance and Grace, of His gentle kindness. I think I so often lose my mind to the experience right in front of me rather than keeping my mindset in this place that is holy, that is elevating, that is hopeful. I'm choosing now an intentional journey. I will journey into love, goodness, kindness, self-control and joy. I will hold up my head and declare the truth of the kingdom into this fallen broken world. I want to learn to take advantage of every quiet and beautiful moment, to relish and create joyful experiences with my family, regardless of all that is left undone around me. I alone get to decide by my moment to moment actions, reactions and words what my story, what the story of this time of my life will say. 

 God writes the grand script but the adjectives and adverbs, the color, the descriptions of what that looks like worked out are mine.  In the midst of crazy schedules, a house remodel, relational challenges...will my kids, husband, friends say: "What grace in the midst of trial.  She was always unruffled, unmoved, at peace, always there for me, still engaged in relationship and what matters, full of gentleness...." Ah, I fear this is not how my story is being described but it's never too late to make a change in the story, to keep the same cold, hard facts but describe them with words of hope, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, extravagant love...  I want to live my story well that the world might see His story and want to live out His story with the beauty He intends for it to have.  

Blessed assurance

Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine;

Oh, what a foretaste of glory divine!

Heir of salvation, purchase of God,

Born of His Spirit, washed in His blood.

  This is my story, this is my song,

Praising my Savior all the day long.

This is my story, this is my song,

  Praising my Savior all the day long.

Perfect submission, perfect delight,

Visions of rapture now burst on my sight;

Angels descending, bring from above

Echoes of mercy, whispers of love.

Perfect submission, all is at rest,

I in my Savior am happy and blest;

Watching and waiting, looking above,

Filled with His goodness, lost in His love.

Worship

Choir

Story behind the hymn

     Do you every get bogged down in life?  So caught up or even drowning in the daily grind or struggle, wondering when life is going to get even a little smoother, easier, more pleasant?  Everything seems to move so slow, be so hard, come with compounding complications, leaving you broken in the midst of questions with no ready answers.  What happens then?  The head hangs down, heart feels heavy burdened, anxiety levels rise and along with it irritability.  How do I know?  I'm living it!  A few weeks ago this all came to a head, and I cried out to the Lord, driving down the road.  I told Him that if he didn't meet me in this place, right now, I couldn't go on.  I had to have an encounter or word from Him to give me strength to move on.  I didn't get an immediate thunderbolt of revelation; He didn't appear in my car next to me and sit down for a chat, no waves of good feelings or manifestations of the Spirit.  For a good hour, nothing happened.  I listened to a book on tape, resigning myself to a slow surrender, and then, He broke through my audio and reflections and began to speak:  "It does not take any effort to let your head hang and to wallow in present circumstances.  However, this will drain the life right out of you, leaving you exhausted, broken and struggling just from one moment to the next to hang on to hope and make it through the day, yet you're not called to hang your head down low or live in and for the here and now.  Remember how David reminded himself often to lift up his head, asking himself  'Why are you downcast oh my soul...hope in God for I shall yet praise Him for the help of His countenance.'" We are called to lift up our heads, be exalted and claim our birthright in heavenly places. Col 3:1-2 "If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God.  Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth."
    We are called  to establish the kingdom of heaven on earth by living out an experience as sons and daughters of the Great and High King of Heaven.  Just saying those words sends a thrill through my spine and a sense of exultation, my head pops up and my countenance is helped.  Yet, my day-to-day experience so often leaves me wallowing in the pieces of all that is undone, yet to do, words and tones that never should've come from my mouth but spilled forth in the midst of my stress and anxiety.  We are not meant to live this way! Yet, how do I get out, break free, how do I turn the corner to walk as a daughter of the King with dignity, grace, joy unspeakable and full of glory, a living hope, a gentle and gracious tongue, integrity and wisdom, befitting this Name, this title by which I have been called.  How do I tap into the knowledge of the Holy that changes everything, that will guide me in every step of my day and overshadow every conversation with holiness and glory? How do I live my life so those who encounter me: my family, coworkers, friends, the person in the grocery store, airport, park, encounter the love and the beauty and the grace of Jesus when they encounter Him in me?  I really think this is meant to be the normal Christian experience.  I want to see God's kingdom crashing down all around me, healing broken people, broken places as the very real power that rose our Lord Jesus Christ from the dead courses through my life in these willing hands, this willing heart, weak vessel.  I see that even this willingness to let go of my pain, my broken, my natural course of hanging my head down and plodding along are a daily sacrifice of praise.  I'm certainly not pretending that I have answers or have it all together.  Most days are filled with the broken and unholy reactions of someone living more like an orphan or slave than a Daughter on whom has been bestowed greatest love, honor and authority.  I think it starts with talking about it more, affirming the truth of these words every morning, every interaction, every time I turn my head. When my anxiety levels rise, setting my eyes on things above, on who He is and who I am in Him, rather than on the mere stuff of earth around me, a fake sort of "reality." I need constant renewal of truth or all the seeming realities around me will beat me down and relegate truth, the Highest Truth to the backseat.





 And so...


Lead on, O King Eternal  (and I will follow)
 

Lead on, O King Eternal,
The day of march has come;
Henceforth in fields of conquest
Thy tents shall be our home.
Through days of preparation
Thy grace has made us strong;
And now, O King Eternal,
We lift our battle song.


Lead on, O King Eternal,
Till sin’s fierce war shall cease,
And holiness shall whisper
The sweet amen of peace.
For not with swords’ loud clashing,
Nor roll of stirring drums;
With deeds of love and mercy
The heav’nly kingdom comes.

Lead on, O King Eternal,
We follow, not with fears,
For gladness breaks like morning
Where’er Thy face appears.
Thy cross is lifted o’er us,
We journey in its light;
The crown awaits the conquest;
Lead on, O God of might.

Story behind the hymn
Song

Peace, peace like a river

  Wow!  It's been a month of upheaval and I've written this and other blogs a hundred times in my head but haven't had the time or internet or any number of other excuses which have kept me from returning to this place.  This morning, as I open my blog, I see my post title - Peace.  I laugh as my month has been characterized by anything but peace!  I've cried in deep, broken distress. questioned God's purposes, presence and plan, went to war against the schemes of the devil, searched the Word for comfort and placed myself and situation into the Omniscient and loving hands of the Father over and over.  How ironic that I find myself revisiting and finishing my blog on peace, dwelling in the confidence and presence of One seated on an unmovable throne Whose dominion and power know no limits, Whose love is unfailing, Whose purposes cannot be thwarted.
    One of the most loved hymns and most familiar hymn stories is that of "It Is Well".  Sometimes, I think it's easy to get an idea that we're supposed to be unphased, untouched by earthly sorrows, struggles and setbacks. We then end up feeling like failures in the midst of struggle because we feel the ripples from the rocks and storms and detours caused by debris or "junk" that's thrown in by life's storms or other people.  Yet, even the most happy, calm, rippling brook can become a roaring torrent of upheaval in the midst of violent storms.  This doesn't make it wrong.  The river hasn't forsaken it's created purpose. It's counterproductive to pressure yourself with guilt over real/raw feelings of desperation, desire or need for deliverance or to conjure up certain feelings of peace or well-being, pretending that life's storms don't phase you.  The important thing is to acknowledge the truth of the brokenness we encounter and continue receiving from the Source, continuing to flow in the currents He permits.  The surface may be turbulent, broken against the shore, tossed about every which way, but the depths are still grounded in the Everlasting, in the path enscribed by the Sovereign, undeterred from going where one is sent and abiding in the channels and currents He ordains.
   I rarely pretend anymore that I'm ok when I'm not.  Not that one should spew forth turbulence on those around you in the name of "being real", but I have been deeply comforted by the prayers and support of those who respond in gentle grace and compassion when I acknowledge that I'm falling apart on the inside or desperate to see the Kingdom revealed in the midst of my mess and upheaval.  The house project goes slow, many setbacks, and it's hard to live long in an unsettled mess while trying to give some semblance of normalcy to the household with home cooked meals, a regular school schedule, etc. But oh how precious those moments of communion with the Unfailing One when He touches my turbulent heart and speaks "Peace, be still!"

It Is Well
When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well with my soul.

Refrain:
It is well with my soul,
It is well, it is well with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ hath regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

My sin—oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!—
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.

But, Lord, ’tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul!

And Lord, haste the day when the faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.



Story Behind the Hymn

Acapella

A beautiful rendition

An unfair exchange

  How many times have I told my children that "life's not fair, and we should be thankful for that!" But sometimes it feels like we're on the wrong side of that equation, the death of a family member, income loss, a miscarriage - yesterday in the ER my heart wept with a young mother-to-be.  She started bleeding the night before - just lightly spotting.  She wanted to check on the baby.  I placed the ultrasound on her, confident that everything would be ok. I searched for a heartbeat.  I searched again.  I should be able to see this easily at this stage.  I gently told her that I couldn't find a heartbeat but that I wasn't the expert.  I was sending her for a formal ultrasound.  Tears streamed down her face for the second time as she succumbed to fears.  This was her second pregnancy  - the first lost at 9 weeks (the same measurement of gestation that I got on ultrasound).  Why?  With so many girls/women getting pregnant and carrying to term who "don't deserve it". Who could care less, strung up on drugs, wrapped up in unhealthy lifestyles, and here a young couple is struggling to hold back the grief of unspoken fears.  
     Yet, I am thankful that life is not fair.  Jesus got the unfair end of a Divine exchange.  He carried the wrath of God and torment of my sin, and I got in exchange: life everlasting, hope, righteousness.  He suffered, I was redeemed.  And the exchange continues to go on as He promises and fulfills giving beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning.  He has taken on and continues to take on the heart break of a broken world that His blood might cover a multitude of sins, might lift people out of the despair and the crushing weight of sin and its consequences and bring us into the joy of fellowship with the glorious Trinity.  As the preacher today said: "We have been given something greater than the angels who revel in His presence and glory, an opportunity to peer behind the veil with eyes of faith.  Angels look on in wonder when we worship in the Valley of the Shadow."
  Faith isn't just for Sunday morning worship but to glimpse the glory when walking in the horror or struggle of the day to day. To believe that we can really come just as we are in our struggle, unbelief, anger, fears, joys, exhilarations, hopes and realize that no matter where we are when we come, we bring nothing to the table.  He wants us raw and real. He just wants us to come, to enter into the unfair exchange in which he takes all of our mess and our perceptions of "having it together" and gives us joy inexplicable and FULL of GLORY.


Just as I Am

Just as I am, without one plea
But that Thy blood was shed for me
And that Thou bid'st me come to Thee
O Lamb of God, I come! I come

Just as I am, though tossed about
With many a conflict, many a doubt
Fighting and fears within without
O Lamb of God, I come, I come

Just as I am, and waiting not
to rid my soul of one dark blot
to thee whose blood can cleanse each spot
O Lamb of God, I come, I come

Just as I am, poor, wretched, blind
Sight, riches, healing of the mind
Yea, all I need, in Thee to find
O Lamb of God, I come, I come!


Just as I am, Thou wilt receive
Wilt welcome, pardon, cleanse, relieve
Because Thy promise I believe
O Lamb of God, I come, I come

Because Thy promise I believe
O Lamb of God, I come, I come

Story Behind the Hymn

A beautiful rendition
Acapella
There's a newer tune/rendition that we used to sing at Christ Community in Brazil, IN but I can't find it.  Can anyone out there find it for me?

The value of a Friend

  This past week I had the opportunity to reconnect with a friend in Virginia Beach, a friend I've not seen or talked to in a couple years.  We picked up almost like we hadn't been separated by the miles and circumstances for 2 years.  It reminds me of the verse: "A friend loves at all times..." Proverbs 17:17.  Time and distance, circumstance and struggle don't abate that but allow us to carry one another's burdens.  Sometimes that gets messy, requires vulnerability, grace to receive correction and be changed by each other, humility to forgive and ask forgiveness.  Sometimes it requires pressing in when we want to withdraw, covering one another's shortcomings, sacrificially giving of one's self and resources.  Isn't that what Jesus did? He sacrificed at all expense, pressed in and sought out when we were hiding, enemies, broken by our sin and shame, not willing to leave us to ourselves. He Himself said "I no longer call you servants... but friends..." Luke 15:15. And who best to know the depth and meaning of that word "friend", having inspired its description over and over throughout history: David and Jonathan; Ruth and Naomi; Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah; Paul and his companions, Moses and Joshua and the list goes on.

     Being in the middle of a move, my old journals are still packed up, but every time I've publicly shared my God-story, I always relate it through the names of God revealed to me at different times/stages.  Just as I was turning 16, my family moved from our long-time home state of Texas up to a remote mountain pass in Alaska.  I didn't know anyone in Alaska, and, even if I did, they would likely be at least 1-2 hours away.  Needless to say, this was a time of struggle and loneliness.  We lived at a Bible camp, and I remember our first camp.  I journaled about it as I saw long-time friends having fun and hanging out together and sharing testimonies of how special this or that friendship was. I remember feeling very much alone and on the outside.  During this season in my life, Jesus revealed Himself deeply to me as a friend. A true, meaningful, faithful, conversational, near at hand friend.  Moving to Virginia has been the second most difficult move as far as finding, developing friendships.  I've moved over 13 times in my life including a 2 year stint as a missionary kid in the Philippines.  But, I'm so thankful for the friends who took me into their circle and befriended me, but I still find after 5 years that it's easy to feel like one is on the outside looking in.  It helps me strive to welcome and engage those new to the area, to see with eyes more open the loneliness or needs around me.  Still so easy to get all wrapped up in the busyness of life, in your own domestic or work duties and days and weeks pass by without intentionally engaging in sacrificial love and friendship.
Passages on friendship. 
1 Samuel 20:42 Jonathan said to David, “Go in peace, for we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the Lord, saying, ‘The Lord is witness between you and me, and between your descendants and my descendants forever.’” Then David left, and Jonathan went back to the town.

Job 6:14 “Anyone who withholds kindness from a friend forsakes the fear of the Almighty.

Proverbs 27:6 Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.

Proverbs 27:10 Do not forsake your friend or a friend of your family, and do not go to your relative’s house when disaster strikes you— better a neighbor nearby than a relative far away.

John 15:13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.




What a Friend we have in Jesus

What a friend we have in Jesus,
All our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry
Everything to God in prayer!
Oh, what peace we often forfeit,
Oh, what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry
Everything to God in prayer!













Have we trials and temptations?
Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged—
Take it to the Lord in prayer.
Can we find a friend so faithful,
Who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness;

Take it to the Lord in prayer.



Are we weak and heavy-laden,
Cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Savior, still our refuge—
Take it to the Lord in prayer.
Do thy friends despise, forsake thee?
Take it to the Lord in prayer!
In His arms He’ll take and shield thee,
Thou wilt find a solace there.

Blessed Savior, Thou hast promised
Thou wilt all our burdens bear;

May we ever, Lord, be bringing
All to Thee in earnest prayer.
Soon in glory bright, unclouded,
There will be no need for prayer—
Rapture, praise, and endless worship
Will be our sweet portion there.





Song with soul
Acoustic unplugged
Story behind the hymn