A beautiful turn of events

I start.  Stop.  Think about starting...the computer isn't working right.  I have many thoughts, so much I could pour out on this page and yet days, weeks go by and my inconsistency glares in my face.  They say one of the keys to successful blogging is consistency.  I guess I'm destined to be an unsuccessful blogger at this stage in my life.

The beautiful turn of events, however, is unrelated.  It's Emma.  My second born, second daughter, full of energy.  LIFE!  Vibrant.  She tests me, tries me, makes me laugh, makes me cry.  For months we clashed.  I didn't know what to do with her.  I prayed and cried and felt as though she hated me.  She would say at times that she didn't like me.  Every day we would butt heads and school was painfully difficult.  I tried discipline, praying with her, taking things slow, would lose my temper and feel like I would lose my mind.  I often felt at my wits end.  When our dog died in October, we had a moment of bonding.  I held her.  We cried together.  It was a precious time for me and I thought things were better.  This would fix the breach.  But, it didn't take long for the clash to recur.  Days turned into weeks.

  In February I was talking to a friend who was experiencing a similar situation with her son.  I talked to her about my experience with Emma.  It was then that I suddenly realized that our relationship was dramatically improved.  We weren't clashing every day.  Sure, she still has strong opinions and doesn't always want to obey.  She's impulsive and crazy at times, but our relationship had mellowed.  She kisses me randomly and says "I love you."

Often, in the midst of a struggle that seems to stretch behind and before in a daunting endlessness, it's hard to see microscopic changes.  I don't know when it happened or how it happened.  There was no magic pill or process.  But somehow, slowly, imperceptibly, our relationship had changed.  We were growing closer and healing had taken place.  Me learning to be gentler, softer...I hope.  Her hopefully learning that I am for her not against her.

Isn't that how we are often?  Fighting against what is best for us.  Clashing, struggling, and then life changes.  A turn of events, a change of hear, the constant barrage of pressure eases and the skies clear.  We can take a deep breath again and realize that God is for us.  And if He is for us, who can be against us.

  So take courage.  Whether it's a struggle in relationship, life's pressures squeezing in, you're too tired to look up or grasp hope, God is there.  There will be a day when you will look back and be able to sigh with relief over the fact that the great never-ending struggle, has indeed ended. A victory has been won and it is yours to lay hold of, to keep and maintain, to be thankful for. Look to Jesus, the Author and Finisher of our faith: the Beginning and the End and the I AM in between.