A Search for the Unsearchable (A God of Paradoxes)

   This title is descriptive of two things for me.  First, of God so past finding out.  Who can claim or even attempt to know Him, the Almighty whom the heavens and heaven of heavens cannot contain?  If His being is so vast, how much more His divine attributes!  A.W. Tozer conveys this idea in his book The Knowledge of the Holy, that we in our finite minds know some of His attributes, but He, being infinite, surely has many more attributes of which we cannot begin to know.  And yet He offers, calls us to seek Him and PROMISES that in seeking one shall find more than one bargained for.  He COMMITS to being a God near at hand.  He CREATED for the very purpose of being known.
 
  
 

The second reason for this title is as an expression of my own longing.  I long to KNOW Him, yet I wonder at my foolishness to think that I could possibly begin or consider to know the Most High, most infinite and eternal Being, Creator of all that we can fathom and even beyond that! I find myself at times restless, dissatisfied and hungry for more of Him. In these times I ask myself: "Am I not hungry enough? What keeps me from His fullness? Am I not desperate enough for Him? How hungry, how desperate do I have to be before getting filled with all the fullness of the Spirit?"  I feel like Mr Odone in Lorenzo's Oil.  His boy is sick and dying and a doctor tells him that boys much worse than his son are being chosen for this special, experimental treatment.  In desperation, Mr Odone says: "How sick does he have to be?  My boy is dying!!"  As I come before my Heavenly Father, I have often felt the same way.  How hungry do I have to be in order to receive your promised fullness?  What does it take to reach the heart of God (blindly unaware that I had reached and captured His heart before I was even born!) Am I a fool to attempt the impossible? To know the Unsearchable? The Past finding out? Am I alone in these questions, this desperate longing?  I can easily fall into an orphan spirit, considering myself more a slave begging for scraps at the Master's table rather than a daughter and coheir of the Kingdom who has been invited into the very fellowship of the Triune God, to become one with Him, a partner in His purposes.  WOW!  I don't pretend to know all the answers, and I don't know where this present journey will lead me or what I'll discover along the way but I hope we both learn and perhaps find along the way the secret, hidden treasures of inestimable value. Because, if there's anything worth knowing, it's Him.  If there's anything worth pursuing, it's Him.  If there's anything worth dedicating all time, effort and life to, it is in knowing the Giver of Life. 
  Proverbs 2:1-6 "My son, if you receive my words, and treasure my commands within you, so that you incline your ear to wisdom and apply your heart to understanding; Yes, if you cry out for discernment, and lift up your voice for understanding, if you seek her as silver, and search for her as for hidden treasures; Then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God, for the Lord gives wisdom; from His mouth come knowledge and understanding."  My students and I broke this verse down on our first day back in our CC community this past week -  We pulled out the words Knowledge, Understanding and Wisdom and then looked at all the verbs associated with attaining those things - their not for the weak kneed or faint of heart.  It takes intention, pursuit, desperation...Take a look at the verbs listed in the verse!
    The Scripture contains a plethora of metaphors comparing relationship with God with a treasure hunt.  He wants to be valued, sought after, not easy come, easy go.  But have you every been on a real treasure hunt?  I'm not talking about an Easter egg hunt where you can pretty easily glance around and see the "treasure" lying about hear and there. I don't think it's even like a treasure map leading to one big chest of treasure but more like gold mining - sifting, digging, using a pick ax and finding bits and pieces here, a big nugget there all leading to a cumulative TREASURE.  This kind of treasure is a life long pursuit requiring tools, time, earnest desire, and sometimes blood, sweat and tears, friends to help, and the power of the Holy Spirit. Even so, come Holy Spirit, reveal yourself, open up the treasures of Heaven, lead us in the paths that lead to You.


The More I Seek You SONG

Paradox

I was a teenager when the concept of paradoxes first captured my attention. I remember starting to write a book while lost in my swirling thoughts, staring out the van window on a road trip between Texas and Washington state, pondering deep things, hungering to know the One past all understanding.  I think it may have been some of Tozer's books that triggered the growing fascination with what seemed like so many opposing concepts being simultaneously joined, united in to one action of solidarity.  A paradox is a seemingly absurd or self-contradictory statement or proposition that when investigated or explained is proved to be well founded or true, opposing forces working as one.  But isn't all of life filled with a myriad of little examples of this from our days with a sunrise and sunset, plants needing rain and sunshine,water cycles including evaporation and precipitation. Yet, these are so familiar, part of every day living that they hardly seem paradoxes at all. 

   However, when we look at the Bible and Christian experience, paradoxical concepts can be much more difficult to swallow.  "In this world, you WILL have trouble, but don't worry, I have overcome the world."~Jesus  How confusing some of these Biblical paradoxes seem; how we wrestle over them as they are practically experienced or lived out in the Christian life.  Why do we have to die to live?  How do we gain in losing?  Is it even possible to be joyful in suffering?    How does becoming a servant make you free?  

We see unseen things.

We conquer by yielding.

We find rest under a yoke.

We reign by serving.

We are made great by becoming small.

We are exalted when we are humble.

We become wise by being fools for Christ’s sake.

We gain strength when we are weak.

We triumph through defeat.

We find victory by glorying in our infirmities.

We live by dying

Giving is receiving

Having nothing yet possessing all things

    But why should I venture to write on something that others more studious, brilliant, godly have already waxed eloquent about?  I don't know.  I just know that this has long haunted me and in stirring it again in my spirit, I believe God has something to teach me through my pursuit and often the best way to learn is by wrestling through the concepts ones-self, and discovering what the Spirit has to reveal.  I invite you to join me on this journey, share your thoughts.  Who knows? Perhaps by our shared experience, we will be changed and perhaps a new book, from a different angle filled with ancient concepts and fresh revelations will be birthed.